How to Get a Proposal
Today, romance has evolved in to various kinds of dating arrangements, not all of which end in marriage. Yet for many people, marriage is the ultimate state for a couple in love. Knowing how to get a proposal from someone who loves you is an important part of achieving wedded bliss and long-lasting happiness, but you need to be honest with yourself and with your significant other to make it work.
Finding the Right Partner
Meet an eligible guy who is serious about being in a long-term relationship.While you don't want to open your first few dates with "do you want to get married," you should find someone who is comfortable with commitment. Signs to look for include:
- A willingness to talk about the future.
- Emotional and social maturity, the ability to have a discussion or argument calmly.
- Prior serious relationships.
Get to know each other by dating for several months.Make him dinner. Go to movies. Have a picnic in a park. Take the time to get to know each other and develop a solid relationship built on love and trust. Don't rush him with hints about wanting a happy marriage with him until you've been dating for awhile. People change, especially after the wonder and joy of a brand new relationship wear off. You want to see this side of them before you commit "until death do you part."
- Relationship expert John Molloy, the author of the book,Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others,says that women who rush a man with hints about marriage too early in the relationship (first 6-8 months) will likely scare him off.
Know when most people are ready to marry.Men aren't usually ready to pop the question, at minimum, until age 26 if they are college graduates.If you are looking for a proposal earlier than this, you may need to spend some more time dating before someone pops the question.
- Men getting graduate or professional degrees after college usually marry 2-3 years later.
- Men who did not go to college generally marry 2-3 years earlier.
- After age 33, most men become less likely to marry.
Move in together to see how you work in the same house.Moving in together is a great step towards marriage, because you get to see how you function during mundane, day-to-day life. After 6-8 months or more, try getting a place together and make sure your relationship stays strong. Rushing into marriage before you know you can live together can lead to awkward and unfortunate surprises later on.
Meet each other's parents and friends.Having the blessing of your family and peers leads to longer marriage satisfaction and lower divorce rates. If you want to hide him from your parents or your friends hate him, there is likely something holding you two back from being truly happy.
- Ask for opinions about you as a couple from trusted sources. Do they think you seem happy? Could they see you two together for a long time?
Make sure you want to be with this person for the rest of your life.You can't want a wedding ring because you feel pressured or "you've been dating long enough." You have to want this person as your partner for the rest of you life. Imagine your life in the future and make sure you see this person in it.
Getting a Proposal
Bring up the idea of marriage after dating and enjoying a strong, loving relationship for 12 to 24 months.Talk about weddings in casual conversation, bring up cute proposal videos, and comment on friends getting married. See how he reacts, from "I could never do that," to something more interested, like "That's really cute."
- Don't expect this to get the idea across by itself. This is just a comfortable, low-pressure way to begin the discussion early on.
- Many men do not think much about marriage and will not bring it up unless the women does. Women must bring up the subject and make their wishes known, unless they want to stay in an unsatisfying "status quo" forever.
Talk about your future together.You do not even need to bring up marriage at this point. Discuss career goals, places you might want to live together, and future plans. Make sure to emphasize the "we" aspect when talking. You want to see how your partner reacts to a life together.
- If they are excited or involved in future plans, then they may very well be thinking of wedding bells as well.
- If they don't like talking about the future or making plans then they are likely not interested or ready for a marriage proposal.
Give some obvious hints.Some people are oblivious when it comes to hints and may need a little extra help in discerning your intentions. Remember: though you may want to be proposed to, your significant other may not be willing to make that big of a commitment yet. Don't pressure them too much because it could end up pushing them away. You don't want to force it, just help the situation along.
Discuss the subject of marriage and be honest about what you are looking for.Being honest about what you need in the relationship is a critical part of knowing how to get a proposal. If you want to get married, you cannot sit around and hope your partner is a mind-reader. Sit down and talk about marriage in an open, honest fashion.
- Let him know that getting married is important to you.
- If he does not want marriage at all, then you need to think about moving on. Having this conversation now, however, can save you months in a relationship that cannot give you what you want.
- Some men must realize what they will be losing if they are unwilling to make a commitment to a woman who wants to get married. A woman who is willing to leave a man and move on to another relationship to get what she needs is someone who knows how to get a proposal that will result in a happy marriage.
- Women direct the course of a long-term relationship, thus women who do not know how to get a proposal must realize they have settled for less than what they want.
- When you tell your man you are willing to walk away if he does not want marriage, do it in an nonthreatening way, saying something like, "It's important for me to get married and I hoped it would be to you, but if not I'll have to move on."
- Men who have had a series of long-term relationships outside of marriage may never be able to make the commitment.
- Though we all hope that love conquers all, there are certain red flags that indicate a man is not ready for marriage, and may never be. If he shies away from any commitments (jobs, friends, you) then it may be time to move on.
Video: How To Get Him to Propose! Plus -Sneaky Ways to Tell By the 3rd Date If He's Marriage Minded
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